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Long distance relationship

ForumFriendship and relationships

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  • NAMUZILAMA971

    February 11, 2017

    Nothing is lmpossible with God ,.

  • NAMUZILAMA971

    February 28, 2017

    I think it works distance relationship just be honest to each other love is love ,everything is possible with God.

  • March 1, 2017

    It works God is able and powerful

  • April 28, 2017

    relationship has no boundaries. And with God all things are possible.

  • June 5, 2017

    Distance should not matter when you put God first  commitment daily interactions

  • June 9, 2017

    I think a lot of the comments in the thread sound nice, but ignore the very practical side of reality -to their own detriment. I have a friend who had a long distance relationship (LDR) and is now married. I asked him several questions, to which he responded. I posted his comments, based on his personal experience, in this thread, which I suggest you at least consider: www.cmatch.com/topic/131/

    Yes, God helps, but that doesn't mean that he'll spare you the very real and practical aspects of life and the challenges that are inherent to LDRs.

    There's an article online called "Long Distance Relationship Statistics"[1] which I think might be relevant here. Keep in mind that these particular numbers are limited to people in the USA.

    I've quoted key parts of the larger article below (with my emphasis in bold):

    • 14 million couples define themselves as having a long distance relationship
    • 3.75 million married couples are in a long distance relationship
    • 32.5 % of all long distance relationships are college relationships
    • 75 % of all engaged couples have been (at some point) in a long distance relationship
    • 2.9 % of all married couples in the states live in a long distance relationship
    • 10 % of all marriages in the states started out as a long distance relationship
    • 125 miles – the average distance in a long distance relationships
    • 1.5 times – the average number of times couples visited each other (per month)
    • 3 letters – the average number of letters couples write each other (per month)
    • 2.7 days – the average number of days between couples calling each other
    • 14 month – the average number of months before couples expect to move back together
    • 4.5 months – the average time before a long distance relationship breaks down
    • 40 % of all long distance relationships ends with a break-up
    • 70 % of all failed long distance relationships fails due to unplanned changes

    Another study from 2002 (above is for 2017) had some additional details, including the following result "1/5 of respondents in LDRs reported that being in an LDR made their relationship worse"[2]

    In any case, I'm not trying to steer anyone away from the idea of a LDR. Can it be done successfully? Yes. I've seen it myself. However, you need to realize that a can-do attitude combined nice-sounding comments like "everything is possible", "distance should not matter", and so on are no replacement for planning, risk assessment, and being better informed about the realities of the situation.

    I suggest you all keep these things in mind and get a more realistic idea of what you'd be getting into when entering into a LDR rather than being blissfully unaware of the challenges/difficulties waiting for both of you. It's usually what you don't see coming that gets you...

    Best wishes.

    [1] www.longdistancerelationshipstatistics.com/
    [2] www.waiit.com/Long_Distance_Re ... hips_Statistics

  • PHILIPS420

    June 23, 2017

    With personal experience long distance will work hands down, provided you don’t compare your interest with past relationship with details and habits. Had break up with someone on cmatch because she was comparing me with her ex-husband, and some guy who is interested in her.

    June 23, 2017 updated by PHILIPS420

  • VANESSA664

    June 29, 2017

    Long distance  relationship needs TRUST to each other and build love. Its also a kinda test for you guys who's in that kinda relationship if how can they manage the TIME ZONE and it's also helps them to grow their RELATIONSHIP STRONGER that even they are each other they still WANT EACH OTHER UNTIL THE END and and last they can have the HAPPY ENDING

  • STELA298

    June 29, 2017

    I was in long distance relationship twice and all ended up with disaster. LDR to me is very hard. I prefer to be close to my future husband inas much as I can. However, although the communication was pretty much intense with my long distance relationship, eventually there was always misunderstanding that really hard to be resolved unless we dealt with face to face. The senses did not involve all, very limited. Hence, it needs 2 mature people who can work this out really well with great understanding, loyalty, honesty, and commitment. Otherwise, it could lead to a huge disaster.

  • NATHALIA443

    July 19, 2017

    LDR due to  advance technologies, I believe made it easier.

    As long as both side would be willing to take time to text, video chat to talk importance stuff. Communication, transparency, prayer and honesty are the basic ingredients that needed for the relationship to grow.

    I also believe physical visit is also necessary  to enjoy each company ????

    If there's the same ending goal distance is not a barrier. Nothing is impoisible with God. He will make a way!!!

    July 19, 2017 updated by NATHALIA443

  • August 5, 2017

    In my personal opinion, LDR will only work if it is God’s will for you. Otherwise, no matter what you do the relationship would not blossom.

  • October 21, 2017

    l know this thread has not been updated recently but l thought it wise to leave my view & opinion. It might be helpful,informative for couples looking for  wisdom in the future.

    l read & noted all the other previous comments above.I will start by saying,l know a couple that meet on this site several years ago.So this is mainly, what l learned through interacting with Marcsy & the challenges they faced in their Long Distance Relationship.You can check their wedding on youtube (Maggid & Marcsy) .He is  from Egyptian and she is from Hungary and they meet on this very website. The wedding video is in Hungarian but l thought putting a face & a name to something makes it more realistic.

    This information is based on our exchanges.Also Marcsy is such a great woman of God with so much faith,& trust in the Lord.So when she made a commitment to Maggid she was going to keep it & be faithful.They often prayed & fasted as a couple but had practical plans in place to move forward in their relationship.

    Whilst the statics against LDRs are grim,there are also successes.The truth is that LDRs are not for the faint hearted,but for the brave & mature. They come with a lot of hardwork & planning,a lot of waiting and the frustration of distance.It requires intentional conduct from both parties and a time line to work with once you decide to proceede.It cannot be long distance forever or just be open-ended.

    Some of the hard decisions that the couple l mentioned above had to make included  getting married in Hungary  without the groom's family,choosing a honeymoon destination where the party with a weaker passport didn't have to apply for a second visa. Yes there is such a thing as a weaker passport.We were praying all around as the wedding date fast approached,without the groom's visa.The process of applying for a marriage licence,was also long & frustrating.Lots of red- tap to navigate.

    So if you do decide to navigate a LDR remember,it's a tough road, with lots of decisions to make.But that doesn't mean that it's all doom & gloom.

    Planning comes into how you are going to communicate,since its a relationship you want it to be realistic,like any normal couple.So you need to invest,in creating open lines of communication.

    The truth is every relationship brings with it a price tag.It's either time,money and energy,so be prepared to invest into the relationship.

    Luke 14:28-29 says, “If you want to build a tower, you first sit down and decide how much it will cost, to see if you have enough money to finish the job. If you don’t, you might lay the foundation, but you would not be able to finish. Then all who would see it would make fun of you” (NCV).

    Counting the cost is an aspect of life that we all have to consider in every area of our lives.So it's important to build with the future in mind.

  • December 30

    I truly agree that LDR can only work, if God is in the middle of it.  Otherwise, trust will be a problem.  However, bth persons must be committed to God for the relationship to work.

    Elma

  • March 9

    Yes, long-distance relationships can work, but you must put God first, be honest with each other, use the media means available to you, and allow the relationship to grow. Of course, reading the Word daily, and praying for God's protection, and commit the relationship to God, and it will work.  The Word makes it plain that they that wait upon the Lord He will sustain them, and they will mount up on wings of angels, amen.

  • September 6

    Long distance relationship can work has long as jesus is in the middle of the relationship.trust ,honest ,commitment. Love.must be apart of the relationship for it to work.

  • MIRICHAN541

    September 13

    Long distance relationship is a matter of trust, loyalty,patience and perseverance. Because i know that at the end if God really destined lovers they will really meant to be and the long time of waiting is worth the wait because God in His perfect time he made it possible! 😘😘😘

  • Thursday at 5:03pm

    I did not have to say a word.  You all said it good answers.  So, I can say this,  I seconded what you say.  I like to add something though.  You all did not mentioned more biblical foundation that LDR works.  Heard of Rebekah and Isaac in Genesis chapter 24?  That was first long distance relationship and she was willing to come and marry Isaac just like that.  That night after they met that day, they cosummated.  The other being Ruth and Boaz of sort.  In Ruth chapter 2.  So.. There you have it.

    Yes I agree, all things are possible with God.

    For intercontenial relationship.. meaning international.  Now that is another whole ball game of difference between own country LDR.  Say I fall in love with a Texan female.. that is in-country LDR.  International or intercontenial would be say, I am in love with a Filipina from the Philippines.  That kind of complication of relationship and marriage is more expensive than in country and more difficult dealing with international marriage because of regulations per country.  And several choices.  More expensive, more complicated.  Hey, in NYS, if I am to marry a female in my town (had that experience), say you want to marry this Saturday, today would be best to go in city hall and apply for marriage license or certificate.

    But not so with Fiancee Visa from the US Government to apply to marry her.  She also has to apply same form and being interviewd.  I do the same, To make this short, it would take six months to a year and half depends on if you have a lawyer or not.  I know a couple.. both are Christians.  This guy from my hometown married a Filipina and they married in six months.  Another couple, my best friend married a Filipina after it took a year to wait for a reply from the government.

    Depending on the bride (or groom)'s country overseas or cross the border, they have their own regulations and for some countries, its esaier to marry than having her brought here in the US!  But that is more complicated.  I have done a lot of research.  Wrote another ebook on this called, "To Marry or Not to Marry a Foreign Bride."  

    More factors such as how much income you have.  Think about factors like that.  Some countries requires you have a certain amount of income to live in her country or even own country.  Ie- in the US, you must have at least 20,000 Dollars annually your income enough to support her.  That is just for her.  Not your own expenses.  The Philippines requires a foreigner have 50,000 income annually enough to marry a Filipina.  Thailand is 18,000 annually.  (all in US Dollars).  You get the idea.  BUT then there are dowry in some countries.. that is another subject to talk about.  But I will leave as you can research yourself.

    Still all things are possible with God.  But be wise before you get into something that you realize you cannot do.  Like your income, employment, family, etc.  All that FIRST before you start looking for someone on here or any dating websites.  If you cannot afford, best way is to find someone in your own church because you do not have to spend thousands to fly overseas and spend thousands in dowry or something for the bride's family plus wedding expenses.  They expect you pay for it.  Here, you do not have to.  Elope if you want to!  I know a couple really really poor.  Just elope that no one knew about and just the parents and that couple.  they did not have dinners.  they only served snacks.  That was all they could afford.  

    I realized that often and I am seeing my visitors are beautiful foreign potential brides to be who saw my profile.  Maybe one of them is from the US but no picture.  I noticed the pattern is the same at another Christian dating site.  Always the foreign but never had American females.. well, almost. Maybe 2 of them did but not a match because of some things I am looking for and they were not.

    Likely I may end up with LDR.  That is the new norm for everyone.  Like it or not, that is what we all will face or quit online searching for your mate because you are too limiting yourself.  It is like you cannot find what you want in the store so you end up going online and order what you want that is from afar.  Same concept.  God bless.

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