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Wink? Really?

ForumAbout cMatch

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  • April 17

    Am I the only one who believes that just like in real life, winking "virtually" is not a proper way of drawing someone's attention? I mean, if a man winked at me in a public place, I would definitely turn my head away and say to myself, "what a rude person!" Sorry if I'm stepping on some toes here, but that's how I feel.

  • April 18

    > Am I the only one who believes that just like in real life, winking "virtually" is not a proper way of drawing someone's attention?

    Would you feel better if it were renamed to "smile" instead, as in a "virtual smile"? Would that, in practice, be any different? What would you consider a "proper" way to draw someone's attention, exactly, and why?

    > I mean, if a man winked at me in a public place, I would definitely turn my head away and say to myself, "what a rude person!"

    Not that I'd go around winking to anyone, but why, exactly, would it be "rude" for someone to wink to someone else? Please, be specific. It's certainly not immoral...

    > Sorry if I'm stepping on some toes here, but that's how I feel.

    Power to you. To me, this is how the situation, in general, comes across:

    Some women: "That is not a 'proper' way to get my attention." :-@
    Also some women: "Why does no one pay attention to me?" :'(

    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    April 18 updated by XRAY948

  • April 20

    One thing about this site is how it's a very deceptive place. After a while, you realize that most "winks" translate to nothing. It's just a wink!! Wink back or ignore it.None of the people I have winked back at ever do anything else after the initial wink. Maybe it's just like a "like" button on the other social media pages. You like things you agree with but most of the time you might not engage at all with what the person said.

  • CMATCH

    April 22

    @Eva, we do hear you and understand your concerns. We are seriously consindering changing this feature. In the meantime, you are welcome to deactivate the wink function at the 'my privacy settings' page.

    @Tina, certainly winks can lead to something, and no, it's not a 'like' function on social media. It's a feature to break the ice, but naturally it needs follow up and therefore further initiative by both parties.

  • April 23

    > It's a feature to break the ice

    This.

    That's how I've always interpreted the feature. In fact, it even says this in the privacy settings page: "A wink is a great way to break the ice ... However, if you don't like receiving winks, you have the option to disable this."

    At least at a personal level, I don't think I see an issue with "winks", regardless of how they get implemented.

    > We are seriously consindering changing this feature

    Hmm, is there a reason for this? From a subjective perception standpoint, I suppose that if it were changed to something like a "handwave", as in something that allows people to "break the ice" by saying "hi from a distance", might make some people feel more comfortable about sending and/or receiving them. (I suppose that it's just how people interpret different gestures...)

    On the other hand, from an objective/practical standpoint, I'm not sure what the difference would be, specifically on the web site, since it's clearly not a physical gesture.

    Are you thinking about fundamentally changing the feature mechanics (e.g. a feature replacement), or is this simply about a superficial "makeover" to improve subjective perception? Perhaps you intend to remove that and replace it with something completely different?

    For me, this probably makes no difference either way; I'm just asking out of curiosity.

  • CMATCH

    April 29

    @Xray at this time I was specifically talking about a "makeover" as you call it, since Eva certainly isn't the only one providing us this feedback. However, at this point I can't say for sure if this would lead to changing the feature more fundamentally. Probably not, since we do want to continue to offer ice breakers.

  • May 4

    Until now i have been thinkin 'winkin' to be just a way to get womans attention. Like saying 'Hi, there'. I could send a message but it would seem too much something. I didnt know someone would actually be offended if someone winked them! :(

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