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Can a girl make the first move and send the first message?

ForumFriendship and relationships

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  • March 5

    what do you think about woman start talking to man first time?

  • March 5

    My take is that it's not, and shouldn't be, a problem for anyone. So, why not?

    March 5 updated by XRAY948

  • JOHN246

    March 12

    Do it.

  • PABLOSEK848

    March 18

    Of course, it's not anything bad.

  • March 18

    Girls like to b chased 😊

    So I don't think woman will make first move but they should 👍

  • March 20

    yes. The friendly ones.

  • KAT735

    March 20

    i have a different take on this one though(just because we still have that old culture)

    if the woman's goal is to build a friendship - it is okay.

    But if you have a motive because he is cute and you want to build something - it's a no no. you might be being presumptuous and end up assuming...something(wink*if you know what i mean)

  • March 21

    KAT735 wrote:

    But if you have a motive because he is cute and you want to build something - it's a no no.

    Why?

    KAT735 wrote:
    you might be being presumptuous and end up assuming...something

    But the same logic would apply to a man too, right? I'm not clear on what you're trying to get across. What's "wrong" with a woman reaching out? Don't all relationships start out as friendships anyway?

    KAT735 wrote:
    (wink*if you know what i mean)

    I don't know what you mean. Can you clarify?

  • March 23

    I do think this depends on the individual. There's no wrong or right.

    Yes, women like to be chased but in a situation where you're catching feelings for someone and he's not saying anything, it may be good to say it.

    So you'd know if you're on the same page or if you should move on rather than waiting and hoping he'll notice you someday cos he may never notice you.

  • March 24

    > "women like to be chased"

    I guess that needs a disclaimer. I'll just post this commedy skit because I think the reality of the situation is what makes it both so funny and simultaneously so annoying.

  • March 25

    In my opinion, woman can start talking or make first move to man even for friendship or do you like him. But you must know when you must back off.

    Basically man is Hunters, they like to chase woman they like than chased by woman.

  • March 26

    YANTH140 wrote:

    what do you think about woman start talking to man first time?

    I mean I can say hello but u wouldnt do more than that maybe because I'm shy or old school,

    But I think I want to be chased its better that way,but saying hello wouldnt be bad

  • April 20

    I personally don't have a problem with showing a guy that you might be interested or are interested .The example of the woman who did this in the bible is Ruth. But then Boaz had already kind of noticed her and was doing all those nice things for her behind the scene.eg. making sure they left wheat for her to glean (sigh what a sweet guy Boaz lol).

    Anyway,i have approached alot of guys on & off this site with varying results. I'm not a shy person.From not getting replies to one word replies etc.

    My observation though is that guys seem more invested when they make the first move than when I have made the first move. If they mailed first they tend to reply more and be more engaged etc.Just my personal observation.

  • April 29

    Yeah, I dnt see anything wrong with it.. Besides anyone can be friendly

  • May 3

    They can but won't do it 😊 cause most women like men making the first move

  • May 4

    I think woman sending first message or making first move is normal. If she has interest on man, why not to show it?

  • June 17

    Culture has a huge influence in someone's view that's why for others it's fine for a woman to take the move while for others it's a no no.

  • July 13

    Nowhere in the Bible, the girl makes the 1st advance. The man MUST search & find the girl [soulmate]. However, in some culture it is okay.

  • July 15

    In genesis 2:21 woman came to man. Not vice versa.

    ALEX481 wrote:

    Nowhere in the Bible, the girl makes the 1st advance. The man MUST search & find the girl [soulmate]. However, in some culture it is okay.

  • July 16

    REIJO410 wrote:

    In genesis 2:21 woman came to man. Not vice versa.

    Genesis 2:22 says: "And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man." (my emphasis)

    So, the woman did not come to the man; she was brought to him.

    Having said that...

    ALEX481 wrote:Nowhere in the Bible, the girl makes the 1st advance.

    Nowhere does the Bible say that they shouldn't, so that goes nowhere. Even if there were no examples where women take the first step (there are; consider Ruth "winning over" Boaz), it would be meaningless without a moral commandment from God.

    ALEX481 wrote:

    The man MUST search & find the girl [soulmate]. However, in some culture it is okay.

    Not necessarily... since nothing in the Bible makes it "immoral" for a woman to make the "first move", a lot seems to rest on what's considered "socially acceptable" within a given cultural context. You mention that in your comment, but your emphasis in "MUST" seems to suggest that, maybe, you view it as a moral issue, and for that, I think we'd need a Biblical reference from you.

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