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Size and love

ForumFriendship and relationships

1 – 21 of 21Post reply

  • DSHINE345

    February 25, 2016

    Hello great people trust God you are all doing well today. These days guys tell some ladies that they are  big and because of that they can't marry them. What is the best way to deal with this please????

  • LOLA513

    February 26, 2016

    If you are happy with yourself and health don't let it bother u just love yourself :)

  • ANNE987

    February 26, 2016

    The husband that comes from God's will would see first your inner beauty.so don't worry about that.there will be always people that don't like big women and the same for short women.trust in the Lord and don't consider what they say

  • HEAVEN567

    March 8, 2016

    I believe that if a person realy likes you and God has send him to you. Your size shouldn't be a big deal. Alot of times we are so caught up in the outward appearance, both male and female that we lose our happyiness. It is all about the heart, who that person is. If your interested in me then my size shouldn't be such a bother and finally, everybodky has a perfect match out there it doesn't matter.....

  • CHILZ249

    March 10, 2016

    There's someone for everyone in this life..if he doesn't like me for my size,he beta pass without even saying it. What God gives no one can take it away from u, not even size or height should matter. What matters most for me is the heart thts it.

  • April 1, 2016

    Yes, it is true there is someone out there for everyone, we can't all be Kings and Queens. Wait upon the Lord and everything else shall be added unto you.....

  • AQUAVIVA647

    April 4, 2016

    How is being big a womans problem?

    No one is physically perfect to begin with

    The most important thing is not to be unequally yoked to an unbeliever

  • April 6, 2016

    No body is perfect, and do not measure love with size. But look at the mirror in the morning, and thank God for what you see. If in reality you think that what you see is not good enough, then try to look inside your heart. Do you think you're good enough for your own judgement? If you think you have to change, then change! Do all the changes based on how much you love your self, and you love God. It will be much better to change for God and for your self then for some one else's opinion. God bless you!

  • GENESIS984

    April 16, 2016

    ";-)The man looketh at the outer appearance,but the Lord looketh at the heart." Samuel (Bible).. The important thing is the inside not the outside.

  • AMY478

    February 17

    There is scripture about outward appearance in the book of Samuel. Saul had become an unworthy king so God spoke to Samuel and said "get up! And go find Jesse". But Samuel had other ideas, he thought someone else looked taller, darker, fitter, stronger, handsomer but God said to Samuel " No! I don't decide on outward appearance, I choose from the heart". God too earlier confessed that he was ashamed for choosing Saul for the way he looked because inside he was an ungodly man. Samuel was corrected on the nature of God.

    So if ya man ain't thinking like Christ he ain't gonna care bout ya heart, he be thinking bout the size of da booty.[Lol trying to do that American accent y'all have].

    But if a man is Christlike, he will search the heart and overlook the outward appearance.

    Hope that helps.

    February 17 updated by AMY478

  • March 11

    Thank you Jesus for the wisdom You gave sister Amy!, Yo ya totally right.

    Praise God and be blessed gurl :-)

  • April 15

    Yes Amy I agree with you. Years ago in highschool people would call me names about how big I was that really bothered me but after going through a missionary training we had a topic on identity in Christ that helped me change my thoughts about what people think or say. It's not about size.

  • MEI155

    April 26

    Her self esteem is very low. It will affect herfor lifetime

  • May 16

    Unfortunately we live in a "looks obsessed" world.You only have to look around you & see how you are surrounded by perfection.From books, magazines,

    bill-boards, social media etc.If you go on Instagram & Facebook you quickly see how,this superficial perfection is everywhere.From semi-nude,to nude photos,mind you this is not even an XX-rated website it's social media.

    People show off their perfect abs,perfect make-up, perfect hair,dainty waistlines & oh so perfect lives.How is an average girl supposed to feel?.

    The surprising thing is that the church has also bought into the idea of perfection.Look at any mega-church pastor on TV and you will see that they look young ,ageless (no wrinkles), hip & totally in with the times.There is no longer honour for wisdom that comes with the years.Old people are not that respected anymore, it's just better not to have wrinkles because no one will watch your show.Looking old is just not cool.

    When I was in High School,I was very skiny.A perfect size zero,nothing fit right.My skirts had to be tucked in,my school blazer had to be adjusted. For this I got a nickname,I was teased and they said  my legs looked like "golf-sticks".Mind you,in our African culture a woman has to have some "meat" on her. It's not very fashionable to be "thin,skinny or petite".

    Fast forward to today, I'm not a size zero anymore.In fact I have a healthy amount of "meat" on my bones. Unfortunately due to the environment, ladies in my office consistently talk about weight.The word "fat" has been dropped in the conversations  many times. When I was skinny,I was not good enough,now I'm still not good enough.Can a girl/woman ever be the perfect size?.

    It takes a special &  mature christian to understand that looks are temporary.You grow old,you grow bald,you loose your teeth and might need a cane to walk someday.Maybe even adult diapers. Lets Face it! That's the reality of being human,our mortal bodies grow old and fail us as we walk this Earthly journey.

    So what happened to christian virtues,what happened to the fruits of the spirit.The things that God really cares about,besides the perfect hair & make-up?

    Of course as humans,we are stewards of our bodies and gave to take good care of them,but when is too much too much?.

    I read the article in the link below that was written by a Christian author but it angered lots of christian women.The article seemed to suggest that christian women are single because,they don't try hard enough to look pretty.

    m.facebook.com/story.php?story ... id=136231928822

  • May 17

    God Created you in a fearful and wonderful way i think what matters here is self awareness of how beautiful you are then there is a special purpose  in every God's creation, so if someone can't marry you because of your size then it's really clear that he is not for you, there's a perfect match out there for you!

  • SCOTT278

    May 18

    Preferences are one thing,but inner beauty is most important.I think it is wise to ask God to give you an attraction(physical,spiritual,emotional,etc.) to your mate/would-be spouse.As with anything else,make changes that are necessary.Although my personal preference is not for larger framed women insofar as physical appearance,I want to tell everyone reading this post what a Christian woman once told me.There is more of it to love.Amen! Scott278

  • SCOTT278

    May 18

    1 Samuel 16:7 states that God looks at the human heart.God bless all of you.

  • May 27

    I don't see that so often anymore. I see big people with small people all the time. I see big people getting engaged and finding the love of their life! You don't want to be with anyone if they are looking on the outside. Like how they did with King David the boy shepard! Don't compromise yourself, you deserve someone who loves you for who you are as God's creation!

  • July 24

    I've thought about whether to post or not post something on this thread for a while, and I guess I just made the time for it, because it seems to me that some comments are full of wishful thinking, and while posting some of those comments may've made some people feel good, I don't think they're actually doing any good. So, while what I'm about to say may not get high-scores on everyone's feel-o-meters, I think it still needs to be said.

    First, physical attraction is important. It's one of several different aspects of a relationship. How much emphasis different people put on it will vary between individuals, but I don't think people should make the mistake of believing that physical attraction is somehow not important at all or that "it does not matter"; it does matter. It is important to everyone, even if the degree of importance given by each individual is different. In fact, I'm willing to bet that even the people here posting about how "it doesn't matter" and so on would still end up choosing the better-looking man (or woman) out of a given hypothetical set if all other attributes could be assumed to be exactly identical. People already do this when buying items at a store, so why think it'll stop there? I see no reason to think it would.

    The post linked by TINA807 says the following:

    Godly guys — the kind you want to attract — are going to see that kind of inward beauty and care about that more than anything else about you ... But nice Christian men still aren't going to be drawn to you if you regularly walk around looking like you just rolled out of bed.

    As I understand the quote, it's not that "they don't try hard enough to look pretty"; it's that some don't appear to try at all. So, I think the author does have a point, regardless of other's emotional reactions to it. I don't have much context beyond this particular sentence, and I don't know anything else about the author, but my impression is that whoever is getting angry at it is failing to properly understand the point of the comment and/or acknowledge reality for what it is. As I've tried to explain, physical attraction does matter, but to varying degrees. Saying it is not (or shouldn't be) the most important aspect is not the same as saying that it doesn't matter at all.

    Think of it like this: pizza is not only about the cheese, but no one can deny that cheese is still an important component of a pizza.

    Secondly, it's very likely that no one is ever going to think of trying to get to know me better if they don't even find me physically attractive in some way, because that is the first thing anyone else will see. If I had a dime for every time I've heard women talk about how good or bad they thought some men looked, I'd have enough for an early retirement. And those are instances where I've been present to see it happen...

    If someone sees you from 25 feet away, they only see what you look like physically. They won't see how "good" of person you may (not) be or anything else. It's just like when you go shopping for your shoes or makeup stuff: if the store's ad does not catch your attention, you won't visit the store, much less buy what they're trying to sell you.

    That said, there are differences between men and women. According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology:

    "Men were found to reject women who were categorized as having low physical attractiveness more so than women did. However, when it came to social standing, women returned the favor. They were more likely to dismiss a man based on his position in society."[1]

    So, empirical data suggests that while men generally put more emphasis on physical beauty than women do, women generally put more emphasis on a man's social standing than men do. So, with some women saying that physical attraction "does not matter" and appearing to be somewhat frustrated by the situation, I wonder if I'll also see similar comments from women on how a man's social standing and/or economic means also shouldn't "matter" at all... you know, to avoid double standards[2].

    Do note what is and isn't being said: I'm not stating what I personally look at/for in women and I'm certainly not claiming to speak on behalf of every other man or anything of the sort. I'm just noting that there are certain aspects of reality that we need to acknowledge because this is how people appear to be "wired". There're plenty of studies and experiments to look at if you spend some time searching, although I'd still advice to keep a proper perspective when reading them.

    I suppose it helps in making sense of cases I've seen where some husbands have divorced their wives to marry someone younger (i.e. physical appearance), and cases where wives have divorced their husbands after they've lost their jobs or after meeting someone who earns/has more money (i.e. social standing based on money/power). Or why women tend to focus on men who're older than they themselves are and why men tend to look for women who're younger than they themselves are...

    May God help us, because we're definitely broken. We don't live in an ideal world and there're many challenges to overcome. We need God's help to better understand things from his perspective. While we may feel crappy about certain things, it's still worth noting that our worth as a human being does not come from the topics being discussed here.

    [1] Report about the article at www.datingadvice.com/studies/scwtma (7/24/2018)

    [2] More specifically, it's a double standard for a woman to claim unfairness if a man rejects her due to her physical appearance to then turn around and reject a man due to his social status. Can't have it both ways.

    July 24 updated by XRAY948

  • July 26

    Frankly speak,physical appearance is among of the important things ,if you want to get mary with somebody, I agree with you

  • August 31

    I think physical appearance is important to a certain degree that few of us can deny. However what is more important than that is that between God and ourselves we need to be taking good care of this vessel He gave us. Would God be happy with the way i take care of this body? If I’m honest with myself He’d chase me all the way to gym at least 3 times a week compared to my one and half week visit. Even though I exercise I can be lazy and that’s not good. Even though we can pray for our bodies in times of illness it is important to do all we can to take care of it such as checking diet and exercising and also being mindful of the things that can cause low weight or big weight. It’s all about balance and long walks are the easiest and loveliest exercise.There is a certain weight that I cannot aspire too because it would be dangerous for my health. For example losing so much weight that your period stops is not healthy and yet also gaining too much weight especially it’s over a short of time , and if that causes pains and aches it is a sign something is wrong. Things like thyroid problems can cause weight gain or loss. Too much dieting and not eating well causes problems with health in later life such as early onset of osteoporosis and such.  Lack of exercise has its problems as well. If you have high blood pressure exercise can lower it down so it’s a worthwhile activity. So what I think the best thing is to always have a healthy body and if you are lucky to have good strong heavy bones and to be big boned that is not a problem as long as you are healthy. So I think if you take of you God will take care of the rest and fortunately there are may people with varied tastes and preferences so we don’t have to fit into one box. Size (lateral ) is something under our control as opposed to height.

    August 31 updated by SUNRISE454

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