About e-mailing and chatting
You didn't get an answer to your messages? You got turned down? Relax. Don't sweat it. Don't be too quickly discouraged or disappointed.
Make sure your expectations aren't sky high. Others will notice and might be deterred.
Don't focus on "the goal", but relax and enjoy "the tool": everything cMatch has to offer you, like the excitement of a new message, the Christian fellowship, the new friends you make, the new things you learn about other cultures, and Christ's encouragement you receive through the testimonies of others on cMatch.
Don't sit and wait for others to run to you. Instead dare to take the first step and approach other Christian singles on cMatch. What can possibly go wrong – as long as your demeanor is laid back and relaxed?
Don't come on too strong in your first few mails or chat sessions with somebody. Be lighthearted and natural.
Check your spelling and grammar before sending a message. It shows you're neat and punctual, and you put effort in writing your message. On the other hand, major spelling or grammar mistakes makes your message less enjoyable to read.
A birthday is a nice opportunity to get in touch with somebody new. See who's having a birthday and drop him/her a line to say "Happy birthday". Also, you can welcome new members; as the saying goes: "The early bird catches the worm".
Personalize your messages. Make sure every mail you send is different and based on the recipient. You could for example highlight something from his/her profile. Also, be specific; don't just say you like his/her profile, but say what you like about his/her profile. This shows your genuine interest, and shows you invest in your contacts.
Involve the Lord in your quest to meet new people and find your soul mate. Read your Bible or a devotional regularly. Pray often so the Holy Spirit has the opportunity to reveal God's perfect plan for your life and future relationships.
Remember you're Christian. We are representatives of Christ. That's an important responsibility – towards each other and ourselves. Therefore mind your manners and language while you're dating and contacting other singles on cMatch. Stay friendly and polite, treat each other with respect. Through the Lord we're all brothers and sisters.
There's no room on cMatch for stalking, lying, cheating, gossiping, talking about sex in a vulgar way, spam, (sexual) harassment and other violations of our terms. Actually, there shouldn't be room for those things in the life of a Christian at all.
About your profile
You don't need to bare all in your profile. Never share more about yourself than you feel comfortable with. Feel free to leave essay questions unanswered.
However, interesting and extensive profile essays are popular reading material, and provoke response. So if you like to receive more messages, consider writing more and captivating profile essays. And keep your profile updated.
Always be honest while writing your profile essays. Don't tell half truths or other things that may cause others to get the wrong impression about you. This is also for your own sake, because it prevents disappointments and misunderstandings. You can gain a lot by being truthful and openhearted in who you are and what you're looking for.
Don't forget to upload at least one photo. Profiles with photo's are accessed up to ten times more often.
Check your spelling and grammar while writing your essay. Dating profiles that are written sloppy are a turnoff for many singles.
Keep your profile up to date: update your essay answers and add new photos regularly. This way your profiles continues to be interesting, and members will visit your profile more often.
About your privacy and safety
Protect your privacy; don't get too personal and don't provide contact information during the first few mail exchanges. Remember you just met that person. You don't know whether that person can be trusted or whether you'll continue to have contact in the future (see also our safety guidelines).
Take time to get to know somebody anonymously on cMatch before you take your relationship to the next level and start e-mailing or chatting outside the safe boundaries of this site.
Never let anybody rush you to provide your contact information. Only you know when the time is right. Don't bother when people call you paranoid. Your privacy and safety come first.
This and more is explained and elaborated on our safety guidelines page.
About your first date
When you are about to meet somebody special that you think may be your soul mate and future spouse, it may be a good idea not to make an appointment for a whole day. This is better saved for the second date. You'll prevent realizing after 10 minutes that it's going to be a very long day, in case your date is disappointing. You could for instance meet for lunch.
Exchange mobile phone numbers so you can contact each other in case something comes up or you can't find each other.
This may seem obvious, but it's not: don't bring your friends of relatives to a date. Your date may not be thrilled.
Of course outward appearance isn't all important. However, you'll never get another chance to make a first impression. Make sure your appearance is neat and well taken care of.
We've drafted some important guidelines for your safety, we included a section on what precautions to take when meeting somebody for the first time in real life.
About falling in love with somebody from another country
Marrying somebody from a different country and culture is both a challenge and an enrichment. You will learn to look beyond your borders, learn to appreciate new things, and develop a whole new perspective on life. However, be prepared to face challenges "normal" couples don't have to face. These challenges cause intercultural relationships to fail at a much higher rate than "normal" marriages.
We are shaped by our cultural background more than we realize: family life, customs, yes even the way we practice our Christian faith. Things that we take for granted or consider normal, may be funny, silly or even downright offensive in other cultures. This is why communicating with your spouse is even more essential than with "normal" couples. Therefore, take time to talk and explain matters to each other, make sure there are no misunderstandings.
A language barrier may complicate your communication. If you're a native English speaker, and your friend/pen pal/spouse isn't, be sure not to use complicated words or slang language. Be patient if your partner doesn't understand you right away.
Some cultures are less "open" than others. It's important that, while accepting this, you and your beloved maintain an honest and open relationship where you can speak freely and without shame about your feelings. Make a vow towards each other to face unpleasant discussions and questions honestly.
The success of a intercultural relationship relies heavily on how well you and your partner understand and embrace each other's cultural roots. Read books or search the web to learn about your beloved's country. Pay attention to relevant news stories and discuss it with your partner. Don't consider your country better or your partner's culture backwards – just different. By the way, the best way to understand your spouse's culture is to make a meaningful effort to learn the language.
If you're planning to move to a different country to live with your spouse, realize the sacrifice you're making. Not only you're leaving behind your friends, family and career, but you'll have to start from scratch. And it's nothing like the holiday you've probably had in your partner's country: this time your spouse goes out to work during the day, while you're probably alone at home, facing an unknown new world, trying to find a job that is probably way below your qualifications, and struggling with the language. Usually feelings of loneliness and uselessness creeps in after a few weeks. Fortunately, in time you'll get used to your new home, and you'll probably find new friends and a meaningful job. The key is to learn the language as fast as you can.
If your spouse is moving to your country to live with you, realize the sacrifice he/she is making on your behalf. You can help by being supportive and patient. Help your spouse master your language by using your language as the main language while communicating with each other. Also, your spouse probably gave up his/her career for you. Maybe you'll also have to put your career on hold for a while and let that promotion pass you by, so you can spend more time with your spouse, because he/she needs you and depends on you. Finally, the support of your friends and relatives is vital, since they replace the friends and family your partner left behind. And feeling accepted by your relatives surely helps your spouse to find his/her place in this new world. Discuss this with your family.
A threefold chord cannot be broken. Together, ask God to be Lord in your marriage, and put Him first. Pray together, read the Bible together, and read/discuss Christian books regarding relationships. Only the Lord can make a marriage truly successful. He will pour out supernatural love in your relationship, He will guide you every step that you take, and He will use your marriage for His glory.